Day 43: Humanize Me

It was Drew Marshall that introduced me to Bart Campolo.  His first interview on the Drew Marshall show was ten years ago.  It was four years ago when I picked up Bart's book that he wrote with his dad.  (see first book blog post on "Why I left, Why I stayed").  I then found his podcast "Humanize Me".  It wasn't long until I joined up to support him and then had access to a wealth of information and content, including ten hours of conversations Bart had with his dad that led to the documentary "Leaving my Father's Faith" .  

I was still hanging on to Jesus as a somewhat real entity in my life when all this exposure to Bart happened.  I can't say that Bart's podcast or story influenced me away from Christianity, but as I floated farther and farther away from the security of those beliefs, Bart offered a life preserver for me.  For that I am grateful.  Life could continue to have meaning for me.  I just had to make meaning myself instead of finding it in an external source.  

I reread Bart's book in summer of 2022. (see post here).  This time I was on a three day camping trip in the bush and without access to electronics.  I discovered so much more peace in the story and a greater connection to Bart's story that I did the first time around.  

Here are some podcast interviews that Bart had that I found inspirational and enlightening.   

Graceful Atheist interview with Bart Campolo

Harmonic Atheist Interview with Bart Campolo

* * * 

I still don't feel comfortable with the "Humanist" label for myself.  It still seems limiting.  I am still looking for a positive identity for me that includes more than just my humanity, even though it is a very important part of the picture.  I want to be seen not just for my humanity, but for how I fit in to the bigger picture of the world and cosmos around me.  Maybe one day I will find a better label than agnostic atheist... I'm still waiting. 

I also want to give a shout out to the Humanize Me Facebook group.  It is Bart who understood and emphasized the importance of community after Christianity.  I really am part of a bigger whole.  I really am ... "not alone". 

 

Here is one of my favourite interviews that Bart has on "Humanize Me"... with his friend Peter Rollins.  I will be highlighting Pete and his Pyrotheology tomorrow. 

Humanize me: Bart interviews Peter Rollins

Day 43: 2022 - "Unplug the Machines, Let him go!"

Day 43: 2023 - "Toxic Tulips" 

Day 42: The Graceful Atheist

"My name is David, and I am trying to be 'The Graceful Atheist'" David Ames

I was nervous on the morning of my "Graceful Atheist" podcast interview.  About two years ago, I decided to tell my story on the podcast... (or the parts of the story that would seem tellable at the time. ) I had never been on a podcast before.  There was enough encouragement from the Deconversion Anonymous Facebook community that it would be alright.  

I went to my mom's farm for the interview and was thankful that she had somewhere else to be that morning.  I had notes that I could follow, but somehow understood that I would probably veer off track quite easily.  I think I made a list of the stories I didn't want to tell, more than the stories I wanted to share.  

David made it easy for me to vomit my life.  He was the first person to offer me a space to share my story.  There was no judgement, no concern... only encouragement, understanding and time.  He took the time to hear what I had to say.  I can't say it was at all a polished interview on my part.. but for my first attempt it was okay.  (Some of those stories that I didn't want to tell... came out anyway) 

Ruby Gets Real Graceful Atheist Interview.  June 19, 2022

Two years ago, I was still up in the air about labelling myself an atheist.  I was okay with agnostic, but the atheist label was still a challenge for me to accept.  As I read through my Authentic Lent 2022 posts, I can see the struggle to let go of my theist roots.  But as 2023 comes around, the struggle seemed to dissipate.  

David was so encouraging to help me understand that where I was... was okay.  After the interview, and while listening to other interviews, I got the peace that I just need to be who I am where I am and when I am.   David is the "Graceful Atheist"... and now I am the "Grateful Atheist".  I am grateful for the opportunity to share what I could of some of my journey, and I am grateful for the community that came along with the podcast.  

For more of David's story, here is a podcast that he did on Harmonic Atheist.  

"Christianity kept falling apart and eventually it was 'game over'". David Ames

* * * 

The Deconversion Anonymous Facebook group has been an oasis for me. I still feel alone in my own community.  The known "atheist" friends I have, I can count on one hand.  I shared my interview with two people... and one was a pastor friend of mine that I went to school with.  

The podcast is currently taking a break from producing episodes, but there is a wealth of interviews for anyone's listening encouragement and inspiration.  Here are some past episodes that I found particularly helpful and inspiring. 

Bart Campolo

Sasha Sagan

Darrel Ray: Recovering From Religion

Daniel: Psychology of Apologetics

Rachel Hunt: Recovering from Religion

I would recommend both "The Graceful Atheist" podcast and the Facebook community "Deconversion Anonymous" to anyone who needs a safe place to come to through deconstruction and after deconversion.  Sometimes it just takes one story to remind you that you are not alone.  

Day 42: 2022 - Blisters on my Brain

Day 42: 2023 - "Tasting the Pain" 

Day 41: Secular Spirituality with Sam Harris

"Dear Reader—

I have been waiting for more than a decade to write Waking Up. Long before I saw any reason to criticize religion (The End of Faith, Letter to a Christian Nation), or to connect moral and scientific truths (The Moral Landscape, Free Will, Lying), I was interested in the nature of human consciousness and the possibility of “spiritual” experience. In Waking Up, I do my best to show that a certain form of spirituality is integral to understanding the nature of our minds.

There is no discrete self or ego living like a minotaur in the labyrinth of the brain. And the feeling that there is—the sense of being perched somewhere behind your eyes, looking out at a world that is separate from yourself—can be altered or entirely extinguished. Although such experiences of “self-transcendence” are generally thought about in religious terms, there is nothing, in principle, irrational about them. From both a scientific and a philosophical point of view, they represent a clearer understanding of the way things are.

My hope is that Waking Up will help readers see the nature of their own minds in a new light. A rational approach to spirituality seems to be what is missing from secularism and from the lives of most of the people I meet. The purpose of this book is to offer readers a clear view of the problem, along with some tools to help them solve it for themselves.

I sincerely hope you find it useful."

Sam Harris

* * * 

It's Monday morning and I am having a hard time waking up... so it's not a big surprise that Sam's book sparked my attention this morning when I went into my Books on my Mac to see if I could download it.  I think my Apple "Books" is having a hard time waking up too.  I can't get the book downloaded even on my Iphone.  Oh well.  I am still in the middle of reading Abby Hafer and Neil DeGrasse Tyson's books.  I guess Sam will have to wait.  

I get to confess this morning that I haven't read a single book from any of the Four Horseman... Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Daniel Dennett and Sam Harris.  I have no excuses to present at this time... but maybe I can eventually get around to getting a book from Sam on my read (as in past tense) list.   Out of those four, Sam Harris has been the most inspirational for me.  The whole idea of spirituality still intrigues me.  I don't want to toss that baby out with the religious bathwater.  I like the idea of still being able to connect with the universe... maybe not in a ritualistic way, but in a thoughtful meditative way. 

I just had some bacon and eggs and feel a little more rejuvenated.   I pulled out a spring inspired puzzle and am separating the pieces.  I just listened to Sam Harris talk about secular spirituality and mindfulness.  I think I am ready to take on the day!  

"Consciousness is the one thing in this universe, including the universe,  that cannot be an illusion." Sam Harris

"Waking up" with Sam Harris

Day 41: 2022 - "I'm Okay" 

Day 41: 2023 - "Finding Figment" 

Day 40: Blucky

Day 40: 2022  - "Poplar Sunday"

Day 40: 2023 - "The Holy Hole" 

Two years ago, I renamed today "Poplar Sunday.  As I explain in my 2022 post, I was looking for something more fitting my time and place on this planet.  

This morning I was out in the hot tub trying to figure out what my last Sunday post of Advent would be.  When I got out, I saw the sunrise peaking through the poplar trees on the other side of the highway.  I went inside to get my camera and record the moment for my blog.  

There are still no leaves on the trees, but the morning sun breaking through adds life to the otherwise lifeless looking trees.  I guess that is all I can hope for at this time of year. 

I have five more days after today to share inspiring voices that have helped me along my journey.  I have saved the best for the last.  These are the pivotal people and their communities that have been the core inspiration and guidance for me for the last few years.  The bulk of my gratitude lies with these five people... but not just people... some are so much more than just their individual contributions.  Three of the five offered communities where I could find an oasis from a confusing world and it's demands on my certainty.  I am more indebted to the communities than to the individuals, but thankful for the individuals for leading me to the communities.  

On line communities are much like those poplar trees across from my house.  Sometimes I hope for something closer to me with more life, so the hugs could be felt instead of just interpreted through emojis.  They are there, but not in the fullness of what could be.  I am so grateful for the on line connections, but honestly... they still leave an emptiness in me.  Most are people far away that I will never see in my life time.  They may think a lot like me, but they won't see my tears when my world collapses.  

So I am left to find that space with those who wonder if I am okay.  I am left to hug and share my tears with Christians.  But I am thankful that most of the Christians in my life are still there to offer hugs and share tears with no requirement that I conform to their belief systems.  

I am truly "blucky"... a new word for me... a combination of blessed and lucky.  It brings together the religious "blessed" and the secular "lucky".  I figure I need something in between those two worlds to define how I feel.  

blessed: bringing pleasure, contentment, or good fortune

lucky: producing or resulting in good by chance 

blucky: Maybe I'm lucky, maybe I'm blessed, but I don't want to waste my time trying to figure out which one... so I will be blucky.  

(Note: I did google "blucky" and found that someone else merged blessed and lucky together back in 2019.  Oh well... so it's not original.  No worries.  It still works.) 

Day 39: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ATHEIST DAY! March 23 (#ATHEISTDAY)

 

"We atheists and atheist allies hereby declare that from now on, March 23rd is Atheist Day. We recognize the struggle of atheists to live authentic lives in many parts of the world. The struggle to openly affirm one’s atheism. The fear of intolerant governments, mobs, and religious zealots.

This struggle often includes the risk of professional, social and familial ostracization. Sometimes, this authenticity results in paying the ultimate price — one’s life. Many of our brethren have been brutally murdered for professing the very principles that this day represents: the freedom of and from religion, the right to be free of discrimination and persecution, and the freedom to profess one’s beliefs.

Many of us happily interact with people whom we admire and trust who unbeknownst to us, are closeted atheists. The world is full of atheists who are silent about their true convictions. Why? Simply this: a fear of reprisal and discrimination based on misinformation, ranging from the subtle to the life-threatening.

People should not be persecuted for their lack of belief in a god or a religion. That’s all we’re asking.

Some people however, believe that disagreeing with deeply held beliefs is hate. But it’s not.

We wish to remind our fellow human beings that many of the most powerful ideas — ideas that changed our world — were once heretical.

Many of the most radical thinkers and reformists in past eras were blasphemers against the established order of their day. "

 (Taken from the Declaration on the Atheist Republic Website) 

Today, March 23,  is International Atheist Day.  After perusing the internet, I found that there is a symbol for Atheist Day - a green circle.  I have been collecting puzzle pieces for a while from puzzles I didn't finish.  Instead of throwing them out... I just started collecting them.  I can fill a mop bucket with the amount of discarded puzzle pieces I have.  I went through my collection last night and pulled out all the green pieces, so I could make my own green circle in honour of Atheists day.  

I don't know how I will spend today... but I am glad I have at least this place to share my creative efforts.  Other than my online communities, I don't have many people I can share this day with.  But I want to honour it for all the people around the world that are at great risk for being atheists.  I'm not one of them.  I have caused sadness in my circles by leaving Christianity... but no one is arresting me, throwing me in prison, or executing me... just because I don't believe in the  "Christian God" or "Allah".  

Jigsaw puzzling for me is like being an atheist.  I have connections on line and across the world, but in my own community at home... there are not that many that I can share my passion with.  So I mostly puzzle alone.  I wish I could puzzle more with others, just like I wish I could go to Bahacon and connect with other secular minds and hearts.  But for now... I will share what I can and be grateful that so many others are out there giving a voice to make Atheism acceptable and normal in our society.  

I found some videos marking March 23 as Atheist Day going back to 2019.  So with these voices, I want to add my own.  

"Happy Atheist Day... and let's hope and work toward a day when all humans will find a common ground of love for each other... just because we are human!

#ATHEISTDAY MARCH 23RD. (2019) 

HAPPY ATHEIST DAY "LET'S NORMALIZE ATHEISM 2022

ATHEIST DAY: MARCH 23, 2021

MARCH 23 IS ATHEIST DAY (2022)! 

INTERNATIONAL ATHEIST DAY (2022) Seth Andrews

THE BEST OF ATHEIST DAY 2023

HAPPY ATHEIST DAY 2024 from the Atheist Community of Austin

Youtube "#AtheistDay" Collection

Day 39: 2022 - "Mike and Bart Debate"

Day 39: 2023 - "A Day for Fools" 

Day 38: Matt Dillahunty: Abrasive and Compassionate

"We're not saying it wasn't God, we are saying there's no reason to think it was God.  That's different. " Matt Dillahunty

The first time I saw Matt Dillahunty on the Youtube screen, I didn't even know he was who he was.  It wasn't until I revisited the same video just recently that I realized I had seen him years ago.   Matt moderated the debate with Bart Ehrman and Robert Price on the subject "Did Jesus Exist?".  

Matt came across my viewing screen in the last year when I found "The Atheist Experience" and "The Line" call in shows. (the same shows that introduced me to Forrest Valkai) 

I'll be honest.  I mostly prefer Forrest's interactions with theists on those shows more than I do Matt's.  How do I say this without casting a shadow on what can be very enlightening conversations? Matt can be abrasive.  Maybe it's just my personality that gets a little turned off at that approach.  I watch sometimes just to toughen my skin, but his aggressive reactions are not my favourite Matt Dillahunty performances.  

I much prefered Matt in his stage conversations with Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris and Richard Dawkins.  He seems a lot more calm.  I don't blame him for getting riled up at a good number of the callers into the shows.  Some of the stupidity that comes across in those conversations would boil anyone's blood... and he gets some of the same responses over and over again.  But he keeps doing it and I have to give him credit for his resilience to religious ignorance. 

But I did catch an interview where Matt's compassion overrode his low tolerance for uninformed and uncooperative theists.  

 

"How can anyone be an Atheist?" /  The Atheist Experience

Every once in a while, I catch a conversation where Matt is genuinely compassionate for the caller.  Those conversations I like to listen to.  Maybe it is a better energy for me, but I am also drawn into the compassion for what is simple ignorance because the person wasn't exposed to another perspective.  

Matt has been an atheist influencer for more than two decades.  His insight and understanding is valuable for anyone wanting to learn more about life after theism.  

Here are a couple of talks I enjoyed that Matt shares from his Atheist Debates project.  

Atheist Debates: A discussion about Hell

Atheist Debates: But that's the Old Testament

Day 38: 2022 - "Questions to ask Bart and Mike tomorrow"

Day 38: 2023 - "What's so "good" about Good Friday?"

Day 37: I am a part of the web of life. (Evolution Education with Forrest Valkai)

 

"This planet and every living thing on it and every atom in it … and every force acting upon it are all inseparably connected and this is the greatest lesson in all of biology.  You are a part of the tree of life. You are related to every living thing around you. You are one link in a chain that extends for billions of years all leading up to you… and you are also part of the web of life.  You rely on the existence of countless other organisms to survive and countless other organisms rely on you just the same. This entire biosphere is just as much a part of you as you are a part of it.  All the laws of physics and chemistry that form this planet and that continue to shape it today are also acting on every atom in your body at this very moment,  just as they have for your ancestors and your relatives for billions of years.  You are a character in an epic and ongoing story and whether you like it or not you are a shaper in that story and now you have the opportunity to see that story in a brand new light ...  in the light of

evolution."  Forrest Valkai

This could be the answer to mother's ever present question.  "How do you do it without Jesus?"  

I was looking on Youtube this week for material on Forrest Valkai.  I found an interview on an unknown-to-me channel that was a great introduction to who Forrest is.   

Atheism with Forrest Valkai 

I was introduced to Forrest Valkai on a couple channels that he participates in... The Atheist Experience and The Line.  Both are call-in shows where people (mostly theists) call in to talk to atheists about almost anything.  Sometimes the conversations can get heated, but sometimes they can be very educational.  Forrest has offered a great deal in the educational department.  I admire his understanding of biology and evolution.  

During the interview, he mentioned a video series he did called The Light of Evolution.  I listened to those four videos yesterday and was amazed at how much I could understand.  There was a lot of biological data that was somewhat intense, but the flow was amazing and I didn't feel lost in all the details.  

I don't remember much about my high school biology class, but I don't think we covered evolution in my Lutheran boarding school.  I only remember evolution as a subject in Grade 7.  I wish I could remember more.  Maybe the directive at my high school was to talk about natural processes in light of creation and God.  So we could still observe onion cells in microscopes and dissect frogs, but it all pointed back to creation... not evolution.  

I still don't understand the whole of everything.  Evolution makes more sense, the more I get to learn about it.  Discarding the whole idea that the bible stories were mostly factual helped to provide room for a different narrative that made more sense.  Maybe I still can't prove it in my own space with my own brain... but I am okay to ride the wave with people like Forrest Valkai who can provide more momentum in the flow of understanding.  

Back to my mother's question.  This is how I do it without Jesus.  I feel like I am a part of something so much bigger than I ever did when I was a Christian.  I am connected to nature.  I am related to the critters around me.  How awesome is that!  I feel a lot less alone now.  Guilt and shame are not a part of this narrative, only belonging.  I don't have a temperamental father deciding my fate based on what I can or can't believe about him.  I belong because I am.  I matter because I exist in this time and space.  I am a part of the web of life.  

Day 37: 2022 - "God is on the Bathroom Floor (by Nightbirde)"

Day 37: 2023 - " Two Flowers"