On May 20, 2013 in Moore, Oklahoma, Rebecca Vitsum lost her house to an F5 tornado. She escaped with her young son, only to return to a house that no longer existed. Standing amid the rubble, one would wonder what went through her mind. News reporter Wolf Blitzer was around in the aftermath and found his way to have a brief interview with Rebecca. It would make sense if Blitzer had just given Rebecca a chance to share her thoughts on the disaster, but he made a big assumption that would change Rebecca's life.
Blitzer asks atheist if she thanks God
Rebecca was outed on national television. She would admit later that she had kept the fact of her atheism pretty quiet. But like most people, the desire to be authentic and honest tugs at the heart and the truth comes out.
Rebecca Vitsum: I'm actually an atheist
After listening to Rebecca's story, I ask myself if I would have had the courage to be honest. I have become good at avoiding situations, without the need to outright lie. Sometimes one gets to make those decisions in a quick moment, like Rebecca. There is no time to analyze whether it's wise or not to be honest. There is just a quick reaction to the moment.
In my circles, some know and some don't. Some know some and some know more. It's been a gradual unravelling of my story in bits and pieces. I have regretted telling some people, and I have longed to be honest with others. I don't know if there is a right or wrong way to out myself as an atheist (or an agnostic atheist... a label I am more comfortable with... but takes more explanation).
Brandon from Mindshift does a video about seven tips on coming out as an atheist. As a Post-Christian himself, his wisdom is good to listen to. He understands the gravity of being honest about one's journey.
How to come out as an Atheist: 7 essential tips (Mindshift)
Aside from my blogs, I am still in somewhat of a closet with only a few people aware of segments of my journey. Here are three things that stand out for me about the outing process... based on some recent experience.
1. It's not a good idea put the news in a letter, email or text. If you can't have a face to face conversation with the person... how close are they to you? Do they need to know in that moment or is it something that can wait? At least if in person isn't possible... do something visual online so they can hear your voice and see your face to know that there is still a human on the other end of the conversation.
2. It's not always the best option to hand out books or share Youtube videos that helped you. Just because they helped you, doesn't mean they will have the same impact on someone else. It's your story that matters. Maybe the books can come later if they are appropriate. But do what you can to make it real for you. Your story will matter to those who love you.
3. Times of loss, death and grief are not the times to out yourself. It may require silence, redirecting the conversation to a later date... but try your hardest not to have that discussion when the other person is in pain. Chances are real good that they don't want to know the whole truth in that moment?
I think over all, the best understanding that I have is that each person's journey is unique and unto their own to have. There is no manual for this for everyone to follow. But there is one thing to understand... we are not alone.
Day 21: 2022 - "The Living Flowers"
Day 21: 2023 - "The Void can't be imagined, it must be experienced"
