I was looking forward to today. This beautiful picture with Bertrand Russell's quote hangs on my office wall and I was excited to dive into more of his thoughts. Early this morning, when I opened my email and got access to what was being provided of Bertrand Russell; the essay "Why I am Not a Christian", I discovered it was an audio recording. Still tucked cozy in my blankets, I downloaded the essay from Ibooks and read it. Then later when I made my way to my office, I put on my headphones and listened to the audio. I will end this post with some quotes I found inspiring.
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But before I share more of Bertrand Russell, I do want to share a profound revelation of sorts. This week, I have been wondering about the labels that come with this kind of journey. It's not a new thought, but revived now that I am learning how others see different labels such as atheist and agnostic. I have been wondering how important labels are for me. This past year, I have indirectly referred to myself as agnostic because it seems like a less abrasive way of communicating that what I had doesn't work for me now. Even so, I am not willing right now to jump on another band wagon of another kind of certainty.
This morning during my read of Russell, I was amazed at how much I sympathized with what he was saying. Just understanding that he had good points shook me up. I asked myself... who are you really? How do you see this world you live in? And I came to understand that I will never be able to answer those questions apart from the people who dwell in the world with me. My language of the cosmos and divine need to include my people. I can let go of a lot of things, but because I am not an island in this world, I can't let go of some sort of something beyond me. Redefine it, yes, but let go, no.
I watched a documentary last night by Richard Dawkins and Laurence Krauss called "Unbelievers" . Nothing in that documentary caused any defences in me. I didn't agree with the "all religion needs to die" approach that is common with Dawkins. But he seems to have the freedom to have that platform. I don't. I rather admire him for his freedom. Maybe it's harsh for most, but I think he is driven by a passion that is well deserved, given the history of Christianity. I admire that passion; I just can't share it.
Maybe somewhere inside me lies a longing to lose it all, and in some sense, Atheism for Lent allows me that space... if only for a short season every year. I am reminded often, however, that "It's not always about me." I will only continue to breathe in this world as I connect and commune with others. I can't trade my friends and family anymore just so I can be wholly authentic. I could lose more than my self and my identity if I do that. In fact, I already have lost too much.
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"The word [Christian] does not have quite such a full-blooded meaning now as it had in the times of St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas. In those days, if a man said that he was a Christian it was known what he meant. You accepted a whole collection of creeds which were set out with great precision, and every single syllable of those creeds you believed with the whole strength of your convictions." BR
"The arguments that are used for the existence of God change their character as time goes on. " BR
"It is not that their environment was made to be suitable to them but that they grew to be suitable to it, and that is the basis of adaptation. There is no evidence of design about it." BR
"Do you think that, if you were granted omnipotence and omniscience and millions of years in which to perfect your world, you could produce nothing better than the Ku Klux Klan or the Fascists?" BR
"Most people believe in God because they have been taught from early infancy to do it, and that is the main reason.
Then I think that the next most powerful reason is the wish for safety, a sort of feeling that there is a big brother who will look after you. That plays a very profound part in influencing people’s desire for a belief in God." BR
"Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. ... Fear is the basis of the whole thing -- fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death." BR
"Science can teach us, and I think our own hearts can teach us, no longer to look around for imaginary supports, no longer to invent allies in the sky, but rather to look to our own efforts here below to make this world a better place to live in, instead of the sort of place that the churches in all these centuries have made it." BR
"A good world needs knowledge, kindliness, and courage; it does not need a regretful hankering after the past or a fettering of the free intelligence by the words uttered long ago by ignorant men. It needs a fearless outlook and a free intelligence. It needs hope for the future, not looking back all the time toward a past that is dead, which we trust will be far surpassed by the future that our intelligence can create." BR
