Advent of 2022 found me diving into a collection of words with a collection of special people. I handmade an Advent Calendar, and I stuffed each envelope with a word and a name or two. The names and words were hidden from my eyes as I stuffed them, so each day up until Christmas, I was surprised with what name and what word I got.
I wrote each person a letter or email and shared some thoughts about the word that came for that day. These are some nuggets about each work that I collected from each of the letters.
November 27: Patience
Today is the first Sunday in Advent and Patience seems like a good word to start off the season. It is a season of waiting.
I guess what I am really trying to do this Advent is find that these words still have meaning to me. And I want to be able to communicate that. What ever happens on my spiritual journey… I just want to communicate that there are just something things woven into the human DNA. Patience is one of those things.
November 28: Hope
It seems strange to connect that word with us, because you are a present dweller for the most part and I am a past dweller. But Hope takes us into the moments beyond our past and present. It takes us into the unknown. Maybe there is something profound about that. I took the picture on a section of my currently unfinished puzzle: the fireplace. It is a warm picture, but still has holes in it.
November 29: Understanding
Tolerance has become a word too that I wonder about. Maybe that is the key to understanding. In so many spaces in life, I find myself longing to be sympathetic… but everything in me says.. "I don't agree, I don't believe it, I don't support it." But then there is tolerance… Maybe that is the gift that leads to understanding. I don't have to agree, believe or support… but I can gracefully tolerate another person's perspective and maybe that leads me to want to understand more. Maybe all I can do is tolerate it, or even them. But that must be the bridge to Love.
November 30: Temperance
At this juncture of my life, moderation in things seems to be easier. I don’t have a big house, and stuff has become more of a curse than a blessing. I get excited about things… like now I am excited about jigsaw puzzles… but I go into a store… and leave most of the puzzles behind. It is easier with a restricted budget to exercise restraint.
But what does Temperance mean when it comes to things like thoughts, emotions, behaviors? When I am frustrated or angry with others… is temperance just a cover for my reduced self esteem? Restraint is easy when one feels like their opinion doesn’t matter. And that is a challenge, even in my fifties. Maybe the years are teaching me more temperance and that is positive thing, maybe not so negative. It’s not good to be impulsive and say everything that comes into my brain.
December 1: Grace
Grace needs Love to be real grace. It needs to flow from the core of a being… not out of obligation.
Acceptance, to me, doesn’t mean agreement… as a fellow human trudging my way in this world, I get to accept a lot of things that I don’t personally agree with. It’s part of being human and coexisting with so many different people. I don’t think my accepting things is any reflection on who I am… other than being someone who chooses to extend grace instead of judgement. This, my friends, is a challenging journey.
December 2: Strength
It is the struggles that builds strength. That is evidenced in any sport or activity that requires physical strength. There is struggle, a great effort, that leads to the strength. So that must be the same in life when things are a struggle for us… they build strength.
December 3: Spirit
The idea of spirit being breath is profound. My body doesn't exist without breath. It is breath that keeps my brain active. It is breath that moves the blood around. Breath is what makes me as a human being alive.
Spirit is breath. It brings it out of the clouds and makes it a very human thing. It is the origin of the word and in essence, the most beautiful picture.
I am still agnostic about the source of spirit or breath. But when I was born… I started breathing. There is something wonderful about that. I breathed before I could ever form words. I have always had my breath. The words got in the way… but now, when I sit and wonder about what lies beyond me, I don't have to explain it, or understand it. I can just breathe and connect.
December 4: Creativity
For me, Creativity is life. Creativity is the energy that keeps me alive. Creativity is the breath of fresh air in my day allowing me to see my world with new eyes. It takes me from the mundane and ordinary and transports me into the unknown and beautiful.
"I don't have to understand it, I don't have to explain it and I don't have to defend it…. I just get to admire it and bathe 'neath it's beauty."
December 5: Joy
"Happiness is about the destination, but Joy is about the journey".
I gave up my conclusions about the source of joy and other things in my life… like love, patience, hope… It seems like the conclusions of the source have caused more strife and stress and have taken away from the actual experience of the joy itself. So I am spending the rest of my days just being in the experiences instead of figuring out where they originated from.
December 6: Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about paying attention to daily life and the things we typically rush through. It’s about turning down the volume in your mind by coming back to the body.
Let's talk jigsaw puzzles. It seems to be the one place that draws me closest to a focused mind. I don't think too much of other things when I am deeply entrenched in finding the next piece. It is calming and peaceful for me. I can tune out the noise and not let my emotions overwhelm me. It brings me into the moment and lets me stay there, task in hand.
December 7: Character
What I like about character as a human quality, is that isn't dependent on things that can shift in one's life… like circumstances, relationships and even beliefs. Character has a way of enduring a lot of change, and in a way, helps up navigate those changes.
We don't get character overnight… it is a process, like a puzzle. Each day we lay another piece to the puzzle picture of who we are. I don't think the last piece gets laid until our last breath. We are all in process in life.
December 8: Loyalty
I am thankful that loyalty does not have a specific recipe. It looks different in every culture and in every relationship. I did learn something off the internet… that loyalty doesn't always come with the same motivation. We can be loyal for very different reasons. But my favourite motivation for loyalty is love.
December 9: Integrity
Integrity invites me in to being straight forward with what I believe and what I value. At this point, what I value has become more valuable to me than beliefs. What I value matters more to me, because it is the common ground I seek with others. Values like people, love, animals, nature, compassion, humanity, including everyone in my world, finding common ground.
December 10: Gratitude
My heart seems empty today. Grief does that to a person. So maybe today, I will just rest and be grateful for so many other wise voices that can share what gratitude is.
“Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.” Rumi
"'Enough' is a feast." Buddhist Proverb
December 11: Humanity
Where does "Humanity" fit in our lives. We are human, therefore, we need to be about Humanity. It makes sense, but just being human doesn't mean we are passionate about Humanity.
If I look at the premise of what humanity means… I think the critters in this world are more human than the people are. The critters live. They don't dream of anywhere else than where they are in the moment. They were born on this planet and have found a way to survive, sometimes with the help of the "featherless bipeds" and sometimes without them, and sometimes in spite of them.
Kindness. When I looked up the word Humanity, it was linked with Kindness. How appropriate. Being one who is passionate about Humanity is also to be passionate about Kindness.
What is humanity… it is love with skin… and not just my skin.
December 12: Beauty
I like that Beauty encompasses the whole of a person's amazing attributes. I like that I can see Beauty far beyond the physical… and even beauty in a different depth of the physical. I don't even think one needs to mention an inner versus an outer beauty.
Beauty is both at the same time. Beauty is depth. Beauty is a person at their best. Beauty is character, charisma and how one is crafted.
December 13: Love
I find myself hesitant to start analyzing Love. Wikipedia doesn’t do it justice. How does one narrow down to a definition, that which powers the universe.
Love gives my tiny human mind something to comprehend. Love is everything. Long before words came into being, Love was the language. Communities were built and could only exist on a common ground of love, respect, kindness and otherness. Love isn’t a command to be obeyed; it is the DNA of being. It is only to be responded to.
December 14: Resilience
“Resilience” is about bending and not breaking. Living trees bend in the wind, this helps them to not break. Dead trees don’t bend, and if a good wind comes along, they will fall over. I think in life, we endure a lot of storms, and some can push us over a great deal. But learning to bend, instead of standing solid, will help us to not break.
December 15: Passion
I admire passion in people. It doesn’t always seem to matter too much what they are passionate about, because it is their passion that is attractive. Just the idea that someone can fully embrace something and live their life full of what they embrace; that is something worth wanting for myself.
I struggle with passion, because in my mind, it requires certainty. Since I find myself surrounded by passionate people, it is hard to land anywhere myself. What if what I am passionate about opposes the passion of someone I love dearly? That is a struggle for me. But I am passionate about one thing… and that word has already come across on my adventure. Love. I am passionate about Love.
December 16: Compassion
Passion is the root of the word Compassion and it sounds like from my online perusing that it is the beginning of the word. Passion is the start, the fuel that starts the engine, but Compassion is the forward motion. Compassion may look like a noun, but in it’s essence, it has the movement of a verb. It is about action. Passion is feeling, where as Compassion is action. Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” That is profound.
December 17: Peace
Maybe Peace is more like a flow…like an ocean tide. I live in a crazy world, and it is not a realistic expectation to be free from disturbances all the time. So what if peace is less like an escape from the craziness and more like a dance partner with the chaos.
Moving with the mess more than trying to oppose it. Then… I can understand Peace. I don’t have to look for it, claim that I have found it, or wonder where it goes when I am not free from disturbances in my life. What if Peace is like my breath. Sometimes I am aware of my breath and sometimes I just breathe and don’t think about it.
What does it really mean when someone wishes that you have peace or find peace? I guess I can’t really know that for sure. We all seem to interpret words differently. But what if I can be aware in those moments when I am listening to my breath. Maybe I will still be struggling with the disturbances in my life and find Peace close by, dancing along, reminding me that if I join in the dance, then that is when I can know Peace.
December 18: Friendliness
I like that the internet definition equated Friendliness with warmth. I always felt warm around my Uncle Don. The light poured from his eyes and a smile greeted me every time I connected with him. He was genuinely excited to see me. I have seen him confused and with tears in his eyes, but that seemed to be what I had brought to the conversation and relationship. Everything in him was always warmth and light.
December 19: Value
How do I explain the longevity of our relationship when we have never shared common beliefs. I have a good answer for that. It is because of our common values. We value connection, we value friendship, we value community, we value people, we value family, we value loyalty… and the list will go on.
I had a long time friend that I once shared common beliefs with and then when those beliefs were no longer in common, the friendship died. Maybe had we built our relationship more on our values there may have been something we could have continued to work on.
December 20: Wisdom
I just had a thought. What is Wisdom without words? It seem we equate wisdom with wise sayings and proverbs, but what if wisdom is the most beautiful and effective in the wordless moments of our life. Maybe it is the most present in the moments when words get in the way. Wisdom teaches us when to be silent. Wisdom guides us when words are inadequate. Wisdom walks along aside of us and gently quiets our sermons, speeches and theses.
I wish I remembered more of those moments in my life, but like I said, Wisdom is elusive. It seems like she only walks in my present and not in my memories. She doesn’t seem to require a recital from the past, to operate in the present. Does Wisdom solely reside in the prefrontal cortex? Maybe like the strange cocktail that makes up Wisdom, also required is more than just the decision making centre of the brain. So many assumptions.
December 21: Helpful
When I thought of it this morning, I thought of the thing I most wanted to be for you… and that was helpful. “What can I do to help?” seems to be the prevailing thought in my mind for most of the day. I am sad when my actions or words aren’t helpful. To not be helpful, is to hinder and that is my greatest pain. To hinder you in your day, or even in your life is the greatest pain for me. I am here to help you, not just in the day, but in your life. I think that has to be the biggest contribution two people can make to each other in a relationship like marriage.
How do we Hold Encourage Love and Protect? (I was looking for an acronym for HELP).
“I know you were just trying to Help.” Those words have come out of your mouth on a few occasions when what I have said or done has been more of a hindrance than a help… but you see through the action to the intent. How beautiful is that.
December 22: Freedom
The first line of the Canadian Charter or Rights and Freedoms is under a section called Fundamental freedoms.
“Everyone in Canada is free to practice any religion or no religion at all.”
What does that mean? What does the Government of Canada want me to know about freedom? Just because it is the Government, does is have credibility when it comes to what they say in their official documentation?
It has been years that I have struggled with the religion I was raised to embrace and that I embraced for so many years of my life. This year was pivotal for me, in that I made a clean cut from that expression of my life, and with added enthusiasm, leaned into a different spiritual expression. Maybe one not so restricting, maybe, in my eyes, one more freeing.
December 23: Generosity
Generosity is more than just about money or treasure, but it does include it. I already mentioned my admiration for time and how I wish I could be more generous with my time. Being generous with our talent takes courage and confidence. Two things I also want to have more of in my life. Time, Talent and Treasure… something to think about. How can I extend Generosity in these three areas? Mmmmm….
Generosity isn’t about meeting and matching, it’s about sharing the extravagance of all of me without the need to be met or matched.
December 24: Trust
I was doing a little bit of research in to the word “Trust” and I found it laying close to words like truth, certainty and belief. But somehow, I think Trust takes the journey a little farther… into the unknown. It invites an Agnostic like me to dance even though I am uncertain of the steps and not familiar with the music. Maybe Trust becomes the best dance partner for the Agnostic. It is more in tune with Love than certainty is.
December 25: Life
All we really have as humans is our creativity and wonder and imagination and interpretations. If we had something more solid or tangible to explain life and everything in life, we wouldn’t see as much diversity among humanity as we do now.
What if every effort to prove our beliefs as factual is a waste of life’s energy? I think of Christian Apologetics and Science Enthusiasm. What if it isn’t even the point to prove any of it? What if “Life” is about living with our wonder, our creativity, our imaginations, our interpretations… our humanity. Can we do that and be a productive functional and joyful human race?
If I am still on a journey of discovery, I hope that when I get to the end, that I won’t discover one answer, but a whole beautiful collection of creative attempts at understanding. I find more value in the creative efforts along the way than in a solitary answer at the finish line.
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