"The Jewish discovery that God is not a god but Creator is the discovery of absolute Mystery behind and underpinning reality. Those who share it (either in it's Judaic or its Christian form) are not monotheists who have reduced the number of gods to one. They, we, have abolished the gods; there is only the Mystery sustaining all that is. The Mystery is unfathomable, but it is not remote as the gods are remote. The gods live somewhere else, on Olympus or above the starry sky. The Mystery is everywhere and always, in every grain of sand and every flash of colour, every hint of flavour in a wine, keeping all these things in existence every microsecond. We could not literally approach God or get nearer to God for God is already nearer to us than we are to ourselves. God is at the ultimate depth of our beings making us to be ourselves. " Friar Herbert McCabe.
Someone in the AFL group posted this quote and it moved deeper in me as a closer picture of how I see that which gave me breath. Mystery... a name of sorts, at least that is how it sounds in Friar Herb's depiction. I like how he separated the idea of god and mystery. That god is something envisioned and named, where as mystery is unknown, undefined and unimagined.
As I travel through this Lenten period, I have no goal but enlightenment. I long to shed light (awareness) into those areas of my world that have been dominated by the shadows. I don't want to be that person that is fearful of the unknown because of where it will take me. I want to be encouraged and challenged by that which I have avoided my whole life.
Today I admitted to the AFL Processing Group that I wanted a funeral on Good Friday, but one that wasn't followed up two days later by a white wash of my pain and loss. I want to soak in the grief and loss of "The Death of God" and more specifically... the death of Jesus for as long as it takes to be okay with it. I don't need to have an annual funeral that gets annulled in two days. I need to mourn the loss of someone who I loved and have lost. I need a really long Saturday. I need to let the sand pour from my hands as if never to hold it again.
