It was Day 9 when I said I wasn't ready to watch "The Shack" movie. Well... today I was. Today's reflection got me a little excited and I wanted to go to that place where I was first introduced to a "God without balls"
This is what I posted on Whatsapp this morning.
Today's reflection uncovered an irritant in my spiritual journey. One that has been around for a long time. The reflection is about "The Cloud of Unknowing" and yet the writer still addresses "God" in the masculine form. Immediate sour taste in my mouth and my being. It's what made me lose interest in the God of Christianity in the first place. I couldn't relate to a God with balls . Maybe not a big deal for most, but for me it was huge. That's a long and painful story... but when I still needed a God, I didn't need one reminding me that I was inadequate because I was a girl or a woman. And it seemed that the God of Christianity could only offer me a God with balls. Eventually a little book came along that broke through that called "The Shack"... it was the beginning of letting go of the "God" that men made up.
The ironic twist of the story is that the author/s of the book were all caucasian men (two Americans, and one Canadian that lives in the States) . That's right. There was a team that responsible for the finished book... not just one author. That little factoid is often hid from the public awareness. What made these three men different is that they all valued the diversity in their God characters. Their "God" didn't need to be white. Their "God" needed to be understood as connected to all of humanity.
Something that also came to mind today was that I was not wanting to tip the scales and just see "God" as female. That wasn't anymore valuable to me that seeing "God" as only male. However, the idea of "God" as Community... that breathed something in me that is still residual today.
My comment on Whatsapp that I shared...
"God" as man or "God" as woman... not as inviting as "God" as community. I guess that's why The Shack was so pivotal in my journey. It was the last "God" that I liked. Not that Papa was a woman... but that there was community and diversity in the picture of what "God " was.
I was worried that I would be triggered with watching the movie. I think what happened was that I was able to hear the questions louder this time and the pat answers with a little less volume. As much as the answers were a little less obnoxious than the typical Evangelical Christian responses to tragedy, there were still some cringe moments. Courtney shared something profound on Whatsapp...
"The Shack did the same thing for me, Ruby. That book went farther in asking me to reassess my conceptions of God than anything else had. Although by now, I've come to feel that the book doesn't go far enough." Courtney Cantrell
So now, looking back at how far I have travelled since I first encountered "The Shack"... I have to say I agree with Courtney. It took me far, but not far enough. I'm glad for that. I am glad for each influence being but a stepping stone on the pathway. That way I can't rest too long in any one camp or with any one voice. All the voices matter.
The Shack was my last Jesus movie and will be my last Jesus movie. I can't find myself wanting anything more in my last and best understanding of the divine than seeing "God as Community". If that is the last picture I ever have of "God"... it was beautiful, meaningful, memorable and inspirational.
