"Theology is idolatry if it means what we say about God instead of letting ourselves be addressed by what God has to say to us (iconic). Faith is idolatrous if it is rigidly self certain but not if it is softened in the waters of "doubt." (John Caputo - What would Jesus deconstruct?)
"These spaces are like deserts in the oasis of our lives. Quiet places nestled in the midst of our everyday life, where we can experience some kind of deeper kinship with others.
Hopefully we all have these kinds of spaces somewhere in our lives, whether it's at our monthly poker game, weekly coffee morning, online discussion group etc. They can be places where we can be free to drop our defences, engage with others and experience briefly a type of connection with others that crosses boundaries.
Perhaps a question to ask yourself today involves reflecting on whether you have that type of space in your life and/or how you might cultivate one." Peter Rollins
At 2:00 am, I got out from bed and went into my office where my computer lay dormant, waiting for me to open it up and find my daily AFL readings. I read of a place. A pub, called "Time in a Bottle"...
"In a secret bar within the city where magic is used to keep the peace, heroes and villains gather to enjoy a pint and talk about their days. " (Knight and Squire Amazon review)
What would I say if I found myself in that place? What thoughts would pour out of my head that I keep bottled up? Maybe my blogs are my "Time in a Bottle", my magical place where I can talk about my day and I can imagine that no one takes issue with what I am saying. I am unknown for the most part. What I say here flies under most radars as not to many of my friends and family want to go the extra mile with me and dive into my deep and darker thoughts. So I write and become as daring as those heroes and villains in the pub.
But what happens when the magical barriers that prevent fighting are dropped and a building full of heroes and villains confront each other all at once? " (Knight and Squire Amazon review)
What happens when someone I love opens up their computer and reads the words I have penned in my space? Does the magic end? Will I be condemned instead of being loved? Is their love really that conditional and incapable of embracing me in my rawness?
In all honesty, I do what I can to make my words available, and yet I still feel hidden. I once invited someone into this magical world of mine... and they told me they would rather not read what I have written, but preferred to get to know me outside of this "Time in a Bottle". The only problem is... outside, the magic is gone and I fall prey to pleasing people and hiding what I fear will make them not love me.
So far... only two friends have let me know that they know that I am journeying through Lent as an Atheist. I still believe these forty days can transform me. But at what cost? Is the "Time in a Bottle" the only place that I can witness that transformation? Does this butterfly have to become a caterpillar again?
