It's almost the end of the day. I usually do my AFL blog posts in the morning. I've been thinking of this reflection all day. How do I even start to address the whole subject of "EVIL".
I looked at my list of Authentic Lent Voices... and J.L Mackie doesn't appear yet. So this year is the first time Mackie shows up. I must have missed him before... because he showed up for Courtney.
I read her chapter again and there is a gut punch when I try to comprehend, through Courtney's words, what a mother feels like...
“If my kid exercises her free will to step out into traffic, I am sure as hell going to yank her back to safety. If my kid exercises her free will to bully another kid, I am sure as hell going to step in and make her stop. If my kid chooses to date someone who manipulates and abuses her, I am sure as hell going to do everything in my power to alter that situation to her benefit.
So if I, as a human mother, love my child enough to keep her from experiencing/causing permanent damage to herself/others, thereby negating her free will, then why doesn’t this allegedly wiser-and-more-loving-than-me God deal with “God’s children”/humans the same way?” Courtney Cantrell
(Excerpt From Appetite for Antithesis: (De)Knowing God in a Lenten Practice)
I am so glad Courtney paints this picture that looks "free will" in the face and says "Really?". When it comes to explaining why there is evil in the world... the Christian's first excuse is "free will". Thank you Courtney for giving me the perspective of a real loving parent.
Mackie makes his point clear in this reflection about the contradiction that evil presents to a belief in "God".
"… In its simplest form the problem is this: God is omnipotent; God is wholly good; and yet evil exists. There seems to be some contradiction between these three propositions, so that if any two of them were true the third would be false." J. L. Mackie
I laid in bed this morning after finding out what the subject was and pondered how I made it for over five decades without feeling the weight of the contraction that Mackie felt. I came to one conclusion... I must have believed in my core that "God" was not omnipotent... but more likely impotent.
Oh I probably signed somewhere that I believed in the omnipotence of "God". But since the problem of evil never came up for me as a conflict, I can only surmise that evil was separate from "God". I didn't find "God" responsible for the evil of this world anymore than I could blame "God" for the tragedies in my own life. The math never added up. I think for the most part, I needed the love of "God" more than I needed to understand the evil in the world. The love mattered more. To even think that I had to blame my best friend at the time for the pain in my life... well that was unthinkable.
It wasn't until a couple of years after my nephew's death, that I picked up a book by Thomas Jay Oord called "God Can't" that confirmed what was bubbling inside of me all along. Love and Control can't coexist in the same space.
I reread my written thoughts at the time I read the book, and there is still some indication that I was surprised by the claim that "God Can't, but as I try to see myself over the years, I have to say now that I don't think I ever believed that "God Could". I don't remember the struggle with having to fit "God" into the narrative of evil. I can't explain it... I just don't remember the dance. I don't remember having to defend "God" for the evil of the world or my heartache. I kept "God" in the love box and that is where "God" stayed.
One book that sparked my transition away from my traditional view of the Christian narrative was "The Shack". It is a book about evil and "God" in the midst of that evil. I have been debating all day if I should do a rewatch of the movie. I still have it downloaded in my movie collection. Do I want to see how the story tries to fit "God" into the problem of evil? Maybe not today. I remember one line from the movie from Papa when she addressed Mac at breakfast. She told him that his problem was that he didn't think that she ("God") was good. "I am good". Okay... so that takes care of one of the three of Mackie's statements. The fact that evil exists was the premise of the movie. Mac's daughter was brutally murdered.
So all that is left to discover is how they danced around the omnipotence of "God". That is where I might have to watch the movie again or read the book. I'm just not feeling like I want to open that box up again. That story was pivotal in my journey. I don't think I want to open myself up to the emotion of watching it again and seeing how the Christian narrative tries to answer the unanswerable question of evil. That is why the book was written and why the movie was made. People needed answers and "The Shack" was an attempt to try to provide one. I just think imagining "God" showing up at a lakeside cottage in the part of three people doesn't cut it for me anymore.
I won't be watching the movie tonight. I am content to just say for this post that it's most likely that nothing is in true control. Maybe something started this universe but it has no interest in the minutia of my life. That is the most freeing feeling ever. Because I don't have to give that thing any praise for the good stuff while trying to balance the vitriol for its part in the world's evil or my sour circumstances. I can just say... this is the world I live in.... no explanation needed, no defence required and no dance to perform.
I did listen to a video that helped summarize the problem of evil from a philosophical approach. It was a nice synopsis the the day. I will end with this.
