2023 Day 14 "Haunted by the Music of Hildegarde"
I was haunted by Hildegarde's music back in 2023. But today... I am haunted by something else. I am haunted by the lack of music in my life. I am haunted by its absence. Music was one of the biggest losses for me when I left behind the Christian narrative. It was one of the last things to go. I was still singing songs in my solitude long after I stopped singing them in public. Even today, the music still sits in my brain wanting me to manifest its residual energy. I might find myself substituting the lyrics for gibberish, just to connect with the music again. But those moments are fleeting.
Now, the only place music has in my life is when I need a wake up pill when I'm driving. So I will put in the Oakridge Boys or Anne Murray and sing along to keep myself awake. Sometimes I might put on a playlist just to pass the time when I'm on the road, but songs bring emotion and emotion is not a wise thing to have when I'm behind the wheel. It's why podcasts have become my go to for driving noise.
There is one song that still has a special place in my heart. This year, the song is fifty-six years old. Almost as old as I am. "Snowbird" was written by Gene MacLellan and it was recorded by Anne Murray in 1969 and made a single in 1970. This song has been a favourite all my life, but recently has become what I call "My break up with Jesus" song.
I think I'm not the first woman to find a song after a breakup that resonated with the whole heartbreak story. Snowbird seemed to fit the story and because it came from the voice of my favourite singer of all time who just happens to be Canadian, it was extra special.
My favourite version of the song is a duet that Anne Murray sings with Sarah Brightman (of Phantom of the Opera). It is truly my Good bye to Jesus song... but with the hope that the "peaceful waters" still flow.
