2022: "I need to let the sand pour from my hands as if never to hold it again."
2023: "I lost and don't even know if I have it in me to start finding again."
2024: "I was simply liberated by the thought that there might be a way to engage with religion without having to subscribe to its supernatural content." Alain De Boton
2025: "Anyone who gives me freedom to find a connection to the beyond without using the word "God" has my attention."
In my readings this morning, I found extra inspiration from all of the four Day 18 readings. I went back to those readings and pulled out four quotes... three from me and one from Alain De Boton.
I look at all four quotes and I am thinking that they can paint the picture of what it's like for me to even dream of the idea of making new friends at this stage of my life. 2023 makes that one very clear. It seems tempting at times to let the sand drain through my hands than to hang on to any of it.
One of my favourite Christmas movies is "Miracle on 34th Street" with Richard Attenborough. There is a scene when Brian and Dory are heading back to their apartment building after a date night and the discussion leads to Dory's caution about relationships.
"I'm careful at this point in my life, I really don't need to be disappointed."
Following that admission, Brian hands Dory an engagement ring and she refuses it. Eventually she faces her fears and they get married at the end of the movie, but in that moment, it is hard not to empathize with her. She lost and didn't know if she finding was something she could do again.
This picture I chose today is of Tom. He's a cat that, with his mom, has recently moved in across the street from me. He doesn't look all that impressed. I wonder if he has the same feelings I do. Maybe he lost and doesn't know if it's in him to start finding again.
I would like to end this post on a hopeful note, but I will just end it. The story is yet to unfold and I am still fearful. Not every canvas is painted in one day.
