Day 5: Giving up the need to hide myself... if only for 45 days.

 Today, I spending more time on a Sunday morning organizing my Authentic Lent posts.  I have been reading the corresponding days from the last four years each morning before I write my blog post for the day.  My organization chore is to make that process more accessible by having links for all the matching days available in a Pages Index without the need to go through the archives and find the days.  

I realize that at a touch of a button, this whole blog could disappear.  I am grateful and reliant on whoever runs Blogger to keep all my content up and available.  I could copy every blog post I've ever done into a medium that I can secure myself, but am I even going to read it once it's in storage.  Probably not.  I've written so much that most of those writings may never see the light of day again.  So I will continue to use Blogger as long as they keep the program running.  

This is an exercise of living in the moment and not having too much hold on the future.  I realize that in 5 billion years, the sun will explode and if there is still an Earth to be dissolved at that time, there won't be any memory for anyone of anything left.  Even the legacies of Tom Hanks and James Cameron and everything they've done will be gone.  That realization makes it okay to just write and not be too concerned about longevity.  

Authentic Lent isn't about having something profound to say every day for forty five days.  It's about having a space to be authentic when I don't feel like I have much space for that during the rest of the year.  I would hope that for others too.  I guess that is why my ramblings are on a blog platform and not in my computer on a Pages document.  I would hope that if anyone actually reads my words that maybe it will encourage them to find their own space to be authentic at least to themselves.  Maybe I'm not the only one who needs forty-five days to "give up the need to hide herself".