Day 23: Who is Jesus... really?

"The average mind is easily content with inherited and acquired things, or with the dicta of parents and teachers, because it is much easier to imitate than to create." Emma Goldman

When looking for a picture of Jesus... I landed on "Forensic Jesus" ... I have to snicker at the idea, but it suits this blog more than "Swedish Jesus" or "Hollywood Jesus".  I want to share about my recent educational journey through the "History of Christianity".  But I found a lot interesting bits in today's reading, so I will intersperse my thoughts between some Emma Goldman quotes.  

"The rulers of the earth have realized long ago what potent poison inheres in the Christian religion. That is the reason they foster it; that is why they leave nothing undone to instill it into the blood of the people. They know only too well that the subtleness of the Christian teachings is a more powerful protection against rebellion and discontent than the club or the gun." EG

An authentic history lesson of Christianity would probably deconvert most evangelical Christians.  Maybe that is why history isn't a topic of most sermons.  If Christians understood the messiness of their historic roots, it would change everything.  Like the Bertrand Russell quote in my office reads. " People's opinions are mainly designed to make them feel comfortable; truth, for most people is a secondary consideration."  

"No doubt I will be told that, though religion is a poison and institutionalized Christianity the greatest enemy of progress and freedom, there is some good in Christianity “itself.” What about the teachings of Christ and — early Christianity, I may be asked; do they not stand for the spirit of humanity, for right and justice?" EG

Who is Jesus?  I have been learning something significant from Bart Ehrmann.  That question has baggage.  It is like googling Jesus in images and finding out that there are so many portraits of a man who lived two millennia ago and long before there were cameras.  So people have to get creative.  

Who is Jesus?  It depends on which gospel you read.  The Jesus of Mark is not the Jesus of John. And the Jesus of Matthew and Luke is not Paul's Jesus.  And Paul's Jesus is not the Jesus in Revelation.  

"But the ethical and poetical Christ-myth has so thoroughly saturated our lives that even some of the most advanced minds find it difficult to emancipate themselves from its yoke. They have rid themselves of the letter, but have retained the spirit; yet it is the spirit which is back of all the crimes and horrors committed by orthodox Christianity." EG 

According to Bart Ehrmann, There is enough evidence to conclude that a man called Jesus of Nazareth existed 2000 years ago, but what people have said about him following his thirty some years on earth... well that is where the baggage comes into play.  

"And the poor? They cling to the promise of the Christian heaven, as the home for old age, the sanitarium for crippled bodies and weak minds. They endure and submit, they suffer and wait, until every bit of self-respect has been knocked out of them, until their bodies become emaciated and withered, and their spirit broken from the wait, the weary endless wait for the Christian heaven." EG

Wondrium has opened my mind and my eyes.  It offers some great intellectual courses for home bodies like me that can't make it to the local university. I've already listened to the following courses by Bart Ehrman. "Historical Jesus", "How Jesus became God", "The Triumph of Christianity" and "New Testament". I have one more in the Ehrman collection of courses "Lost Christianities" before I maybe sum up the courage to take on Ancient Greek 101.  I told myself I would never read the bible in English again... so maybe I can start again seriously trying to get a handle on some Greek.  I turn 55 this month.  Maybe it's not too late.  

"When the Jews, according to the gospels, withdrew from Jesus, when they turned him over to the cross, they may have been bitterly disappointed in him who promised them so much and gave them so little. He promised joy and bliss in another world, while the people were starving, suffering, and enduring before his very eyes." EG

Who is the Jesus I'm learning about in all these courses? I wish I knew.  There are so many versions of Jesus, it's hard to embrace one kind.  I don't know if I like Mark's Jesus, and John's Jesus is so far away from what might even be real, it's not even attractive anymore.  I figured out years ago that all those monologues had to be creative writing.  No one could keep that good of notes.  And then during the courses, and Bart's other resources, I discovered that no one was keeping notes at all.  The gospels don't start getting written until forty years after Jesus' death.   

"Much as I am opposed to every religion, much as I think them an imposition upon, and crime against, reason and progress, I yet feel that no other religion has done so much harm or has helped so much in the enslavement of man as the religion of Christ." EG

Bart mentions several times that Christianity is not the religion of Jesus, but the religion about Jesus.  Christianity didn't get started with Jesus, or with the death of Jesus, or even with the supposed resurrection of Jesus.  It was only when people started believing the resurrection of Jesus that Christianity took off.  And then it wasn't even about Jesus and what he did for thirty three years that mattered.  It was about what happened to him over the course of three days.  If someone doesn't get the last three days right... then nothing else matters.  That seems to be the premise of Christianity. 

So who is Jesus?  Good question.  Christianity, for two thousand years, hasn't been much help with the answer.  

"Christianity is the conspiracy of ignorance against reason, of darkness against light, of submission and slavery against independence and freedom; of the denial of strength and beauty, against the affirmation of the joy and glory of life." EG

Day 22: Equality or Respect?

My husband and I love our new vet clinic.  It is called  "The Pet Hospital".  It is the first clinic we have been to that has separate treatment areas for dogs and cats.  There is one entrance door and one reception desk, but that is where the oneness ends.  

Hubby and I have two cats.  Our cats are our children... for the most part.  We have found a place, in the Pet Hospital,  that holds cats with as much respect as dogs.  I'll be the first to admit that I feel that cats get the shaft when it comes to respect.  Dogs seem to get more of that from most of the culture.  The pet world seems more catered to dogs than to cats.  I wonder if it is because dogs can be controlled and cats, for the most part, can't.  Dogs serve while cats need to be served.  Dogs provide unconditional affection, while a cat's love needs to be earned.  There are so many possibilities for why dogs are respected more than cats.  But not at "The Pet Hospital".  Cats have found respect there.   

After reading today's excerpt from Simone de Beauvoir, I felt myself back in my head wondering what mattered to me as a woman.  What is this fight for "equality"?  Is it just about voting rights, job opportunities or salaries?  Is there something beyond that?  

Everytime I am faced with a word in the English language, I have to do a little word study.  I want to know what that word is supposed to mean.  And even then, after my word study, I, then, get to figure out what it means to me.  

Equal according to the online dictionary... 

1. being the same in quantity, size, degree, or value.

2. having the ability or resources to meet (a challenge).

When I look at the first definition, I see a problem right away.  I see the definition of what another English word defines as a "clone" or "duplicate".  

When I take that definition into my relationship with my husband, I can honestly say... I am not "equal".  We are not the same size, we are not the same in so many ways.  (and yes, one of the synonyms of "equal" is "the same").   

So if equality in my relationship doesn't makes sense, what is my hope?  What do I want as a woman?  It's an easy answer.  I want respect. 

I want to be valued for who I am.  That doesn't always mean that I will hold the same value as my male counterparts in this world.  But I want MY value to be understood and acknowledged.  I am not competing against anyone else in my space for existence in this world.  I am trying to shine in my space.  

This doesn't mean that what women have fought for over the generations, like the right to vote, doesn't hold value for me.  When I went to vote at the last election, I took pictures of Nellie Mclung, Emily Murphy, Louise Mckinney, Henrietta Muir Edwards and Irene Parlby with me.  I wanted to be reminded of an amazing opportunity I have here in Canada because these women.  In a political world where I feel like my vote doesn't count... I needed their faces to remind me of something bigger than just my X on a ballot. 

I go back to my cat and dog analogy.  The Pet Hospital staff know that cats and dogs are very different, but they are held with the same respect and given their own space.  I can understand now why that means so much to me.  I just want my own space.  

(My cats were given their own space on wall perches in the treatment room. They were much more relaxed than previous visits.  This made all the difference.  )

Day 21: The Void can't be Imagined, it must be Experienced

Demopheles: ... Or, to speak less scientifically, truth that generally cannot be expressed except mythically and allegorically, is like water that cannot be carried about without a vessel; but philosophers who insist on possessing it, pure and unalloyed, are like the man who breaks the vessel in order to have the water simply by itself. Perhaps this is actually the case. At any rate, religion is truth allegorically and mythically expressed and thus rendered accessible and digestible for mankind at large…

Philalethes: What a dangerous weapon is put into the hands of those who are given authority to employ falsehood as the vehicle of truth! If this is the case, I am afraid that the damage done by falsehood will be greater than any advantage ever produced by the truth.

Demopheles: Properly speaking, a mystery is an obviously absurd dogma which nevertheless conceals within itself a sublime truth. In itself, this truth is wholly unintelligible to the ordinary understanding of the crude and uncultured masses, who now accept it in this disguise on faith and trust, without allowing themselves to be led astray by the absurdity that is obvious even to them. In this way, they now participate in the kernel of the matter in so far as it is possible for them to do so…

Philalethes: That would be all right if only religion were allowed to declare itself to be true merely allegorically. But it appears with the claim to be positively and absolutely true in the literal sense of the word. Herein lies the deception and it is here that the friend of truth must adopt a hostile attitude.

Demopheles: If religion were to admit that only the allegorical meaning of its teachings were in it the element of truth, it would be deprived of all effectiveness and its inestimable and beneficial influence on the hearts and morals of mankind would be lost by such rigorous treatment. …  

How much you will then guard against casting suspicion on something through theoretical fault-finding and thus finally wresting from the people something which for them is an in- exhaustible source of consolation and relief and which they need so much in fact, with their harder lot, even more than we. For this reason it should be positively sacred and inviolable. 

Philalethes: What is the use of grounds of consolation and tranquillity which are constantly overshadowed by the Damocles sword of disillusion? Truth, my friend, is the only sound thing; it alone remains steadfast and staunch; its consolation alone is solid; it is the indestructible diamond.

Demopheles: Yes, if you had truth in your pocket, ready to bless us with it on demand. But what you have are only metaphysical systems where nothing is certain except the headaches they cost. Before we take something away from a man, we must have something better to put in its place. 

Philalethes: If only I did not have to hear the same thing over and over again! To free a man from an error is not to take something away from him, but to give him something; for the knowledge that something is false is just a truth. But no error is harmless; on the contrary, sooner or later, every error will land in trouble the man who harbours it. 

by Arthur Schopenhauer

Today's reading captured my attention.  I narrowed down the selection to a few quotes that were significant for me.  

I am drawn into space again, thanks to Star Trek Voyageur.  For those not aware of one of the greats of the Star Trek Franchise, Voyageur is the ship that was thrust in to the Delta quadrant, seventy light years away from Earth.  

I find so many similarities to my journey in Voyageur's journey "far from home".

 - It wasn't my choice to be thrust into a Post-Christian agnosticism

 - I feel light years away from most people I used to spend my Christian life with. 

 - Going home seems impossible

 - As Janeway and crew could not imagine the Delta quadrant until they were there, I could not imagine my journey today, from where I was twenty years ago. 

 - I feel alone, until I'm reminded that I'm not.  

 - I wouldn't trade my "trek through the Delta Quadrant, now that I understand what I got from it." 

 - No one in "the Alpha quadrant" will truly understand, because they haven't been here

I found a couple great conversations between Captain Janeway and her first officer Chakotay.  If you are familiar with the series, they might make more sense, but I think even without familiarity, the messages are pretty clear.  

Janeway and Chakotay are facing the adversarial Borg.  Janeway looks for comforting wisdom from previous Captains that experienced the Borg... Chakotay offers her a different kind of hope. 

Janeway and Chakotay's Conversation about the present

In this episode, Chakotay time travels back to when the Voyageur was still in the Alpha quadrant, before it was thrust into the Delta quadrant.  He has a conversation with Janeway about what really matters. 

Janeway and Chakotay's Conversation about the future

Day 20: Did he not find his "God" there?

"Mere man lives in houses, he encloses his gods in temples." Ludwig Feuerbach

My dad was a builder.  In seventy five years of life, he built a lot of buildings.  I grew up around his handiwork.  It was his passion.  

One day, it must have been one day, but that one day was a gathering of days of thought and decision.  One day, he came to his children and told us that we would be leaving the farm.  The plan was to go on the road and "build churches".   

That plan culminated in fifteen years and two provinces of my Dad's handiwork.  The picture above was a church in Holden, Alberta.  That steeple was Dad's handiwork.  Built in a shed that now belongs to his other daughter, he artistically crafted a topper for this old gathering place. A crane was hired to lift the steeple up on to it's resting place.  

My dad has been gone fifteen years now.  The same amount of time that they spent "on the road renovating and building churches".  I wish I could access that part of his soul that felt the need to uproot his family from their home and, as Feuerbach states, "make temples to enclose his god in."  

There is an ironic story about that church.  It is now an art gallery and craft store called "The Gallery" .  It didn't have enough income to continue to be a church, but now people go to see paintings and buy home made goodies.  Creativity draws people into a building much like "God" drew them into the building before.  It seems strange that people still need "temples" to experience a condensed version of what no "temple" can hold.  

I have long since laid to rest the pain this caused me.  I have gained so much as a result of his choice to move.  I just wonder what he felt back then.  Why were those buildings so important to him.  He was an outdoors man.  He loved nature and animals.  Did he not find his "God" there?  

Day 19: Just give me Bob Ross

 This week, for me,  has been a sad realization that my artistic taste is seemingly old, archaic, or out of date.  And I thought, as an Enneagram Four, that I gravitated to beauty.  

My husband and I have been enjoying Bob Ross as of late.  His TV program "The Joy of Painting" was on PBS and CBC from 1983 to 1994.  Now, we watch him on Youtube.  His videos have achieved millions of views each.  

Both Hubby and I find his talent and skill amazing.  He can turn a blank canvas into a thing of amazing beauty.  We are both nature lovers.  Watching Ross paint a scenic picture while explaining brush strokes and paint colours. brings us right into those moments.  It is like an orchestral performance of Mozart on canvas.  

All it takes is a google search to find that there are people that walk by a blank canvas and either call it art, or stop and look at it to see how it makes them feel.  A blank canvas!  There are art galleries that have paid thousands of dollars for paintings that are that or almost that... blank canvases.  

I am not going to get on my soap box and say that blank canvases are not art, when some want to believe that they are.  I was told today, that art isn't always about what is seen, but what is felt.  

I guess my personal taste in art is exactly that... personal.  Maybe some things don't make sense to me, but do I really need to define what someone else finds as meaningful?  What if a blank canvas moves another person to tears.  How can I stand beside them and say that there is nothing to cry about?  I probably won't cry with them, but I don't think I would feel good now about getting in the way of their emotional response.   I learned that lesson today.  But if I was going to open up an art gallery, and an artist came to me wanting to display their blank canvas... I would look at them and say something like this... 

"I'm sorry.  Maybe there is a place where you can display your canvas, but as for me, in my gallery... just give me Bob Ross."  

Day 18: I really don't know life at all

 

Joni Mitchell came out with an amazing song back in 1966.  It took over fifty five years before it's music and lyrics would embed themselves in to the very core of my being.  All because of a movie called CODA and a girl by the name of Ruby.  

CODA is a movie about Ruby, the hearing daughter of two deaf parents and sister to one deaf brother.  Ruby grows up in this fishing family and has a gift she can't share with her family.  She can sing and sing beautifully.  The movie charts her journey of acceptance within her family to follow her dream of pursuing music... all the way to Music School.  

The song Ruby chose to sing for her audition to Music School was Joni Mitchell's song "Both Sides Now" .   

This morning as I read about "The Cloud of Unknowing", I chose to think about clouds instead of the unknowing.  There is a line in the song...

"So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way."

I ask myself... what would I do if I had clear skies? What would I do if the clouds weren't in the way? 

Today, I am thinking of an old friend.  It's her birthday today. I haven't seen her for over eight years, but she lives in the next town from me.  Clouds got in the way.  

"Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads and they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day"

I lost so much the day we separated.  I just cried... I didn't have the courage to challenge her or fight for our friendship.  I was insecure and felt worthless.  I kept telling myself that she was better off without me.  I had no place in her life.  I was toxic to her.  Those thoughts kept me from knocking on her door even years later.  

If she is still the person she was eight years ago, I am still not the person she would want in her life as a friend, even more so because I have totally abandoned everything she holds dear.  Eight years ago, I was just starting my journey away from Christianity.  I have no courage in me to even believe a relationship is possible.  So I am sad today.  I lost and don't even know if I have it in me to start finding again.  Clouds got in the way.  

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Happy Birthday Carla! 

Day 17: ONE can't Create

Some days it's the whole reading, some days it's a quote, some days it's just a word... and some days, it's a thought not even related to the reading.  That is the Journey of "Authentic Lent".  I am grateful to be following along with the readings of "Atheism for Lent".  There is a lot of food for thought.  Some more tasty, some not so appetizing.  But every day, I find myself with an inspiration of sorts.  

This morning, I was soaking in the hot tub and a thought came to me.  

"One can't create".  

The creative process, no matter what it is being created, requires a community.  

Who makes a painting?  The artist, the manufacturer of the canvas, the designer of the brushes, the hands that mix the colours of the paint?  

Who makes a movie?   The actors, the directors, the producers, the script writers, the stage hands, the set constructors?

Who makes a poem?  The inspiration, the poet, the computer programer of the word processor or the trees where the paper comes from?  

Creativity and Creating is done in community.  There is no exception.  

In my mind, no one said it better than A.J. Jacobs in his book "Thanks a Thousand".  He wanted to thank the people responsible for "creating" his morning cup of coffee.  He ended up with a thousand expressions of gratitude from the barrister, to the cup manufacturer, to the farmers who grew the beans, to the people who paved the roads so the trucks who hauled the beans could get to the processing plant.  A.J Jacobs understood that "One can't create." 

Maybe that is why the writers of the Genesis story made the Creator a "we".  Maybe they understood something of the process of creation. Over the millennium, most of humanity has tried to understand and paint a picture of the "ONE" who built the cosmos.  "ONE" has to be responsible for it all.... Right?  But "ONE" can't create.  No exceptions.  So what does community look like for the "Manufacturer of the Universe"?  Maybe that community involves time, movement, atoms, exploding stars, environments that encourage adaptation... and the list goes on. 

* * *  

Today is Meister Eckhart day... so I didn't want to leave him out.  He has a lot of good things to say.  I will end this post with some of the quotes I pulled off the internet.  

* * * 

“Theologians may quarrel, but the mystics of the world speak the same language.” ME

“If I had a friend and loved him because of the benefits which this brought me and because of getting my own way, then it would not be my friend that I loved but myself. I should love my friend on account of his own goodness and virtues and account of all that he is in himself. Only if I love my friend in this way do I love him properly.” ME

"The most important hour is always the present.

The most significant person is precisely the one sitting across from you right now.

The most necessary work is always love." ME

"What good is it to me that Mary gave birth to the son of God fourteen hundred years ago, and I do not also give birth to the Son of God in my time and in my culture? We are all meant to be mothers of God. God is always needing to be born." ME

“There’s a place in the soul where you’ve never been wounded." ME

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” ME

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.” ME