Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Day 36: What is Truth?

 


John 18:28a is my new favourite bible verse.  Three words that sum up my thoughts on truth. 

Pilate said it better than anyone... and even Jesus didn't have a reply for him, or maybe Pilate didn't let Jesus respond.  He just walked out on the conversation with that question hanging over both of them.  

"What is Truth?"  

When someone identifies a thought or an idea as truth, they have made up their mind and I have no place to even discuss it with them.  Nothing I say will matter at that point.  

If someone has a thought or idea that they have and they identify it as an opinion, there is room for conversation.  They may be open to an alternate perspective if it is only opinion.  

"I find this interesting... what do you think?"  is a much more open approach to discussing a subject. 

I tread lightly on the claim of truth now.  I am not being a coward;  I am just putting my relationships ahead of my own need to be right.  I am letting Love override Truth.  What is Truth without Love?  And then when Love is there, is there a need for claiming what I have is Truth?  What if Love is enough.  Love and my opinion if I need to say anything.  Everything else seems arrogant to me.  

If there is any chance that someone can disagree with me, then to claim that I have the truth, is being disrespectful of their humanity.  I don't want to do that.  

This blog post... is my thought, my idea, my opinion.  I'm not even going to say that this is the truth.  

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Day 35: The Meaning of Mystery



Two Chapters from Jean Messlier's Book "Superstition of all Ages" 

CXI.—ABSURDITY AND INUTILITY OF THE MYSTERIES FORGED IN THE SOLE INTEREST OF THE PRIESTS.

What is a mystery? If I examine the thing closely, I discover very soon that a mystery is nothing but a contradiction, a palpable absurdity, a notorious impossibility, on which theologians wish to compel men to humbly close the eyes; in a word, a mystery is whatever our spiritual guides can not explain to us.

It is advantageous for the ministers of religion that the people should not comprehend what they are taught. It is impossible for us to examine what we do not comprehend. Every time that we can not see clearly, we are obliged to be guided. If religion was comprehensible, priests would not have so many charges here below.

No religion is without mysteries; mystery is its essence; a religion destitute of mysteries would be a contradiction of terms. The God which serves as a foundation to natural religion, to theism or to deism, is Himself the greatest mystery to a mind wishing to dwell upon Him.

CXII.—CONTINUATION.

All the revealed religions which we see in the world are filled with mysterious dogmas, unintelligible principles, of incredible miracles, of astonishing tales which seem imagined but to confound reason. Every religion announces a concealed God, whose essence is a mystery; consequently, it is just as difficult to conceive of His conduct as of the essence of this God Himself. Divinity has never spoken to us but in an enigmatical and mysterious way in the various religions which have been founded in the different regions of our globe. It has revealed itself everywhere but to announce mysteries, that is to say, to warn mortals that it designs that they should believe in contradictions, in impossibilities, or in things of which they were incapable of forming any positive idea.

The more mysteries a religion has, the more incredible objects it presents to the mind, the better fitted it is to please the imagination of men, who find in it a continual pasturage to feed upon. The more obscure a religion is, the more it appears divine, that is to say, in conformity to the nature of an invisible being, of whom we have no idea.

It is the peculiarity of ignorance to prefer the unknown, the concealed, the fabulous, the wonderful, the incredible, even the terrible, to that which is clear, simple, and true. Truth does not give to the imagination such lively play as fiction, which each one may arrange as he pleases. The vulgar ask nothing better than to listen to fables; priests and legislators, by inventing religions and forging mysteries from them, have served them to their taste. In this way they have attracted enthusiasts, women, and the illiterate generally. Beings of this kind resign easily to reasons which they are incapable of examining; the love of the simple and the true is found but in the small number of those whose imagination is regulated by study and by reflection. The inhabitants of a village are never more pleased with their pastor than when he mixes a good deal of Latin in his sermon. Ignorant men always imagine that he who speaks to them of things which they do not understand, is a very wise and learned man. This is the true principle of the credulity of nations, and of the authority of those who pretend to guide them.


Mystery... Jean Messlier seems to condemn the idea of mystery as a cover-up of truth.  Maybe a cop out for religion when they can't explain the unexplainable.  

These two excerpts captured my attention this morning.  Do we need cover-ups and cop outs?  Do we need to hide behind ideas like mystery just to save face with people who understand a little less than us.  After all it is those people who are coming to us for answers.  We start that quest when we are children.  The hunt for answers doesn't find its end until we get much older and discover that the answers continue to elude us no matter how hard we look for them.  

Maybe some where along the journey, we have become frustrated with the elusive answers, and we have settled on explanations of the unknown instead.  We only see the unknown or unknowable or the unknowing... and it isn't satisfying us, so we use mystery as an answer and a conclusion.  But maybe there was never meant to be an answer or a conclusion.  

When will we, as a species, be content with the unknown.  That seems to be the way out of our hunt and quest that doesn't provide us with what we need?  

I almost quite reading Jean Messlier... but today, I am thinking he has more to teach me.  So I will read on.  


Monday, April 4, 2022

Day 34: Embracing what I had with what I've got now.


 I was listening to some music on Youtube this evening.  I discovered something in me as I perused some old Gaither/Signature Sound favourites.  My stomach no longer turns when I listen to those songs.  I seem to no longer be turned off of the song because of the lyrics.  I found a way to enjoy the music in spite of the lyrics.  

I lost interest in Southern Gospel for a while because of the focus on the message of the afterlife in most of the songs.  But when I found myself turned off by the lyrics, I found myself missing the music.  The tunes are toe tapping and overflowing with joy.  I was missing that. 

It's not just the music, but the joy in the camaraderie with the vocalists.  I really enjoy the energy that Ernie Haase ads to whatever song he sings.  He pours himself into his music and he is like Bill Gaither; he brings others into that joy.  It is contagious.

I find that the more I distance myself from the need to believe, I find that I can embrace the joy and spirit that still attracts me to the music.  I understand that the musicians and vocalists still need to embrace the words, and that is okay.  That is their journey.  I'm just excited that I don't have to let go of the whole song, just because the words don't make sense to me anymore.  

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Day 33: Aslan: A God I can hug.

 


Two weeks left.  I am climbing out of the illness pit.  I have my voice back.  I am getting my strength back.  I am getting my interest in literature back.  I just spend three dollars to download the Complete Works of C.S. Lewis.  I guess it will be a while before I get that read.

My mom admitted that she wasn't that much of a reader.  Dad read National Geographic.  So I guess it makes sense why I didn't pick up reading seriously until my thirties.  Back then it was Frank Peretti.  But I wonder what my journey would have been like if I had read the Chronicles of Narnia when I was younger.  What if I had been introduced to Aslan instead of Jesus.  

Maybe C.S. Lewis created Aslan as a replica of Jesus.  The story fits.  But I think there is something to the story of Aslan and in the character of Aslan that I don't see in the first century Palestinian Jew.  First of all... I already understand that Aslan is fiction.  No one will argue that .  There is no need to debate the authenticity of the story.  But in the story, there is a something greater than a fabricated lion.  There is a picture.  There is a idea.  There is Aslan.  

For me, Aslan is not human and that is his redeeming feature.  He is strength, wisdom, life and love.  In Aslan, I see the Creator beyond that which I can limit in my imagination.  That is the beauty.  I can float with my wonder and not have to be concerned with proving texts.  I can take the story and become wrapped in it.  How precious is that.  

I still don't know if I want a God.  That label still holds baggage for me.  But if I did.  I would like a God I could hug.  


Saturday, April 2, 2022

Day 32: Can I be like Mother Teresa?


Mother Teresa: A saint despite spiritual ‘darkness’

By NICOLE WINFIELD

August 31, 2016


Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, postulator of the cause of beatification and canonization of Mother Teresa, is interviewed by the Associated Press in front of a mosaic picturing Mother Teresa, at the formation house of the priestly branch of the Missionaries of Charity on the outskirts of Rome, Friday, Aug. 18, 2016. When Pope Francis canonizes Mother Teresa on Sunday, Sept. 4, 2016, he'll be honoring a nun who won admirers around the world and a Nobel Peace Prize for her joy-filled dedication to the "poorest of the poor."


VATICAN CITY (AP) — When Pope Francis canonizes Mother Teresa on Sunday, he’ll be honoring a nun who won admirers around the world and a Nobel Peace Prize for her joy-filled dedication to the “poorest of the poor.” He’ll also be recognizing holiness in a woman who felt so abandoned by God that she was unable to pray and was convinced, despite her ever-present smile, that she was experiencing the “tortures of hell.”

For nearly 50 years, Mother Teresa endured what the church calls a “dark night of the soul” — a period of spiritual doubt, despair and loneliness that many of the great mystics experienced, her namesake St. Therese of Lisieux included. In Mother Teresa’s case, the dark night lasted most of her adult life — an almost unheard of trial.


No one but Mother Teresa’s spiritual directors and bishop knew of her spiritual agony until her correspondence came to light during her beatification cause. The letters were then made available to the general public in a 2007 book, “Come Be My Light.”


For the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, the Canadian priest who published the letters and spearheaded Mother Teresa’s saint-making campaign, the revelations were further confirmation of Mother Teresa’s heroic saintliness. He said that by canonizing her, Francis is recognizing that Mother Teresa not only shared the material poverty of the poor but the spiritual poverty of those who feel “unloved, unwanted, uncared for.”

“That was her experience in her relationship with Jesus,” Kolodiejchuk said in an interview. “She understood very well when people would share their horror stories, their pain and suffering of being unloved, lonely. She would be able to share that empathy because she herself was experiencing it.”


Tens of thousands of people are expected for the canonization ceremony Sunday for the tiny, stooped nun who was fast-tracked for sainthood just a year after she died in 1997. St. John Paul II, who was Mother Teresa’s greatest champion, beatified her before a crowd of 300,000 in St. Peter’s Square in 2003.


Francis has made the canonization the high point of his Jubilee of Mercy, a yearlong emphasis on the church’s merciful side. Francis has an obvious interest in highlighting Mother Teresa’s mercy-filled service to outcasts on the periphery, given that her life’s work exemplifies the priorities of his own pontificate.

But Francis is also sending a more subtle message to the faithful through the canonization of the ethnic Albanian nun: That saints can be imperfect — they can suffer as Mother Teresa did and even feel unloved by God, said Ines Angeli Murzaku, a professor of church history at Seton Hall University in New Jersey and herself a native Albanian.


“That existential periphery which is suffering and being marginalized, he wants to bring that to the attention of the world,” she said in a telephone interview. Mother Teresa “is so real. She’s not remote. She’s not a perfect, perfect saint.”

That said, her blind faith in enduring the “darkness,” as she called it, and persevering through it seems almost superhuman to outsiders.


Take the Feb. 28, 1957 letter she wrote the then-archbishop of Kolkata, Jesuit Archbishop Ferdinand Perier.


“There is so much contradiction in my soul. Such deep longing for God, so deep that it is painful, a suffering continual, and yet not wanted by God, repulsed, empty, no faith, no love no zeal,” she wrote. “Souls hold no attraction. Heaven means nothing, to me it looks like an empty place. The thought of it means nothing to me and yet this torturing longing for God.”

“Pray for me please that I keep smiling at him in spite of everything.”


In another letter, she acknowledged that her smile was “a big cloak which covers a multitude of pains.”


Revelations that the smile was a mask to inner doubts about God’s presence fueled criticism of Mother Teresa — spearheaded most famously by the late Christopher Hitchens — that the Balkan nun was something of a fraud.


Kolodiejchuk, though, says she was no hypocrite. He said that the smile was a genuine and heroic attempt to hide her private sufferings, even from God, and prevent others from suffering more.


“You can be joyful even if you’re suffering because you are accepting, and you are working and acting with love that gives meaning to the suffering,” he said in the courtyard of one of the Missionaries of Charity houses on the periphery of Rome.


The revelations nevertheless shocked even Mother Teresa’s closest confidants and friends, the original sisters who joined her Missionaries of Charity after she was inspired to found the order in 1946. Kolodiejchuk said several sisters wept when he first read them her letters after he acquired them in 1998 from the archives of the Jesuits and archbishop in Kolkata.


Sister Prema, the current superior general of the Missionaries of Charity, recalled being in awe of the revelation and not being able even today to fully understand the depth of Mother Teresa’s pain.


“It took me some time, and it still takes me time, to reflect about it and to understand it more deeply,” she said in an interview. “I think a soul who has not experienced it (the darkness) will not be able to understand what it is about. This is some mystery of the spiritual life which souls who know about it can connect with and associate with, but souls who do not know, we stand before a mystery.”


Asked if she was in that latter group, the German nun paused and said quietly: “Yes.”


Kolodiejchuk, the postulator for the cause, says that in retrospect, Mother Teresa’s “darkness” was actually a critical part of her vocation, kept hidden from the world that only saw a firm but loving mother superior who was the first in the chapel each morning and often worked herself to exhaustion at night tending to society’s most unloved.


“We assumed at least she was enjoying this wonderful consoling union and love from Jesus,” he said. “But we discover, no it’s even the opposite. For me, this darkness is the single most heroic aspect of her life.”

___


If I can aim to be like Mother Teresa... like what she did overrode her struggles with her belief and faith... I will be alright.  She didn't let her doubts and disbeliefs slow her down.  She did what she did for as long as she could do it.  Her values gave her direction when her faith couldn't.  


Friday, April 1, 2022

Day 31: Death of God as Father and Mother




"Women who are "getting it together" are beginning to see that as long as God is imaged exclusively as male, then the male can feel justified in playing God."


"We cannot really belong to institutional religion as it exists.  It isn't good enough to be token preachers.  It isn't good enough to have our energies drained and co-opted.  Singing sexist hymns, praying to a male god breaks our spirit, makes us less human.  The crushing weight of this tradition, of this power structure, tells us that we do not even exist." 


"Our time has come.  We will take our own place in the sun.  We will leave behind the centuries of silence and darkness.  Let us affirm our faith in ourselves and our will to transcendence by rising and walking out together." Mary Daly


I think I live in a world that has a balance issue. When one side is over weighted, the response is to overweight the opposite side in order to create balance.  Maybe that has to happen because we don't know how to ditch the baggage overweighting us in the first place.  So then it becomes the other's responsibility to offset the balance by extra baggage on their end, tipping the scale in their favour.  Then the original overweighted side adds more weight to offset their lack and it goes on and on.  No one learns how to ditch the baggage and even out the scales.  


I had two great parents here on earth where we are identified by sex. Because of a mother and a father here, I have found existence.   Our species exists because of the two sexes available to us.  That is a limitation we have as organic species.  We have been set up to replicate ourselves with male and female contributions.  


When it comes to God, or Creator, there is no procreation required.  There is only Creator. So there is no gender needed to identify this Creator.  All gender attributed to the Creator is a result of the balance issue of humanity.  Mary Daly helped me to see that today, but I think I already had the inspiration in me.  She just helped move it forward today.  


It is easily understood how Christianity has adopted a male God.  Christianity arose out of a male dominated culture.  The bible was written by men.  There was no second thought to making God male.  Even today, people pray "Our Father" and don't think of what it implies.  Even the Holy Spirit has been engendered as a "he".  


Maybe it is the fallacy in our language that doesn't allow us to have a gender neutral pronoun for the Creator.  It gets awkward for people who need pronouns as a shortcut to talking about someone.  But I think it does a disservice to so many.   We are making God in our image.  Is that not an obvious observation?  


My first attraction to "The Shack" book ( and eventually a movie) was the introduction of Papa as a woman.  And then the Holy Spirit was also a woman.  But thinking more about it.  It seems like a balance response because the other side was overweighted.  Maybe that needs to happen, but is it the best way to create balance and see the Creator as not human and not engendered?  I don't know anymore.  Maybe we are stuck with trying to balance the scales by pushing each side to the extreme.  


As much as I enjoyed the Shack, I now am okay with not needing a female God anymore than I wanted to ditch the male God.  If I still need a visual connection, I am okay with seeing the Creator more as a river or as the wind.  Where I am not looking for a human face, but a picture of movement and all encompassing presence.  


I don't need a cosmic daddy.  I don't need a cosmic mama on the other side trying to balance the scale either.  I am okay with Creator being that which is beyond my human limitations.  

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Day 30: Looking for something a lot more simple.

 


Ten days left and I don't know what to write about.  These last two weeks have been draining on me physically.  My brain started out okay with AFL material, but I am over whelmed and feeling like I did when I was taking Computer Programming at NAIT.  I feel like I got in over my head.  

Some of the conversations over the last month have been helpful and encouraging.  Maybe I got what I needed to get out of the course.  I can still hang in there, but maybe I don't have to feel bad about losing interest in the heady material and weighty theological journey.  

I think I will be okay and that is all I really wanted.  I have some good leads in books going forward that will keep me interested in the journey toward letting go of "God" and embracing the Creator beyond the religious paint job.  I hope so.